is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
