would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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