I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
