Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize