he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize