I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize