hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
