I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
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