It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize