Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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