Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
So apparently I’m into choking now
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize