Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
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