Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I have tasted many bathrooms
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize