You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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