I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Randomize
