he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
