I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
