Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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