You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
