I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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