I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
