:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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