So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
