let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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