can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I'm at about main and main street
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
