that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Let's paint friendship bongs
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
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