That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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