I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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