just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
