how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I can't put those talents on a resume
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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