Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
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I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
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I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
is that a dick in a sweater?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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