I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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