I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
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