ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
