I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
