haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
