she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
pop tarts are not kleenex
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
