Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize