I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
