Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
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