who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
