I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
