he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
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I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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