im drinking this country out of the recession.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
