this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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