Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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