Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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