I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
No more Irish car bombs ever.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
