We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Are my feet made of real feet?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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