He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
