Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
