I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
