Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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