Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
