I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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