You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
