It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize