Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
