was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
