We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
