shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
