She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
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