There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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